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Cirrhotic Liver

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Heading south, possibly 90 degrees [Aug. 2nd, 2007|07:09 am]
Cirrhotic Liver
I'm interviewing for a job at the South Pole. Wish me luck!
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Suttree (pt 1 of 2) [Jul. 7th, 2005|04:36 pm]
Cirrhotic Liver
Two pairs of brogans went along the rows.
- You aint goin to believe this.
- Knowin you for a born liar I most probably wont.
- Somebody has been fuckin my watermelons.
- What?
- I said somebody has been…
- No. No. Hell no. Damn you if you aint got a warped mind.
- I’m telling you…
- I don’t want to hear it.
- Looky here.
- And here.
They went along the outer row of the melonpatch. He stopped to nudge a melon with his toe. Yellowjackets snarled in the seepage. Some were ruined a good time past and lay soft with rot, wrinkled with imminent collapse.
- It does look like it, dont it?
- I’m telling ye I seen him. I didn’t know what the hell was goin on when he dropped his drawers. Then when I seen what he was up to I still didn’t believe it. But yonder they lay.
- What do you aim to do?
- Hell, I don’t know. It’s about too late to do anything. He’s damn near screwed the whole patch. I don’t see why he couldn’t of stuck to just one. Or a few.
- Well, I guess he takes himself for a lover. Sort of like a sailor in a whorehouse.
- I reckon what it was he didn’t take to the idea of getting bit on the head of his pecker by one of them waspers. I suppose he showed good judgment there.
- What was he, just a young feller.
- I dont know about how young he was but he was as active a feller as I’ve seen in a good while.
- Well. I don’t reckon he’ll be back.
- I don’t know. A man fast as he is ought not to be qualmy about goin anywheres he took a notion. To steal or whatever.
- What if he does come back?
- I’ll catch him if he does.
- And then what?
- Well. I don’t know. Be kindly embarrassin now I think about it.
- I’d get some work out of him is what I’d do.
- Ought to, I reckon. I don’t know.
- You reckon to call the sheriff?
- And tell him what?
They were walking slowly along the rows.
- It’s just the damndest thing I ever heard of. Aint it you? What are you grinning at? It aint funny. A thing like that. To me it aint.
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Suttree (pt 2 of 2) [Jul. 7th, 2005|04:32 pm]
Cirrhotic Liver
The crimes of the moonlight melonmounter followed him as crimes will. Truth of his doings came in at the door and up the stairs in the dark. Come morning the prisoners were seeing this half fool in a new light. To his elbows in dishwater and wreathed in steam he watched them file across the kitchen with their plates of biscuits and gravy, nodding, gesturing. He smiled back. They saw him again that night, lost in his stained and shapeless suit. He appeared not to have moved the day long nor the stacked pans diminished. After supper he returned to them clutching his blanket before him.
- Well, said Suttree, you back?
- Yep.
- What happened.
- I told em I was done fuckin with em. They want a dishwarsher they can hunt somebody else cause I aint it.
- What did they say?
- They asked me did I want to be hallboy. Said you make a few dollars sellin coffee.
- A few dollars a year.
- That’s just what I figured. I told em I didn’t want no hallboy bullshit.
- So what happened?
- Nothin. They just sent me on up.
He stood there with his rat’s face in a kind of smug smirk. Suttree shook his head.
- Yonder he is, called Callahan.
- Watermelon man.
- Punkins wasn’t it?
- Punkins? Godamighty.
- Yeah, sang out Callahan, we get out we goin to open a combination fruitstand and whorehouse.
Harrogate smiled nervously.
Callahan was sketching for them a portrait of his brothel. Melons in black negligees.
- Watch out the niggers don’t hear of it.
- The niggers is liable to lynch ye.
Other fruits discussed. A cantaloupe turned queer. Do you buy them a drink.
- Worst of it is havin gnats swarm around the head of ye dick.
- Fruitflies.
- Stealing watermelons eh? Said Sutree.
Harrogate grinned uneasily. They tried to get me for beast, beast…
- Bestiality?
- Yeah. But my lawyer told them a watermelon wasnt no beast. He was a smart son of a bitch.
- Oh boy, said Suttree.
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Volcanologists spy pink 'dinosaur' on remote webcam [May. 27th, 2004|03:29 pm]
Cirrhotic Liver
[mood |amusedamused]

Damn, I wish I'd thought of this.

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I knew it [May. 24th, 2004|03:48 pm]
Cirrhotic Liver
menshevik is a radioactive squirrel!!


From Go-Quiz.com
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Hm. [Jan. 28th, 2004|02:44 pm]
Cirrhotic Liver
[mood |okayokay]
[music |none]

What do people really think about you? by Raven319
favorite song
Parents thinkYou work too hard
Strangers thinkYou're hot
Friends thinkYou're wonderful
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!
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Update [Jan. 22nd, 2004|08:10 am]
Cirrhotic Liver
[music |None]

Whew. I've been meaning to get around to doing this lj thing again. Something moved me to purchase a full membership, probably just so I could get people to send text messages (see the info page).

I realized today that it's been a long time since I heard any new music that I really enjoyed. Recommendations, anyone?
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miercoles [Feb. 19th, 2003|11:00 am]
Cirrhotic Liver
[mood |relaxedrelaxed]
[music |Pencil sharpener down the hall]

Have come to the conclusion that yesterday's malaise was due to Taco Bell withdrawal. Had a bean burrito on the way home from work and everything was peachy once more. Hooray for self-medication!

The week is flying by. Exploring my options for post-contract life. Really like the idea of Central America for the summer. Problem is, what after? Looking at grad school, quite like the Marine Earth and Atmospheric Studies program. As T. said though, will that help me get a job? A resounding NO to that, but it would still be fun, much more so than the more practical engineering disciplines I was exploring earlier this year. Job options are slim these days, especially around here...and I do have that burrito habit to support. Hmm.
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intrinsically unsound [Feb. 18th, 2003|02:16 pm]
Cirrhotic Liver
Have that weird weightless dreamy feeling all day today. Wouldn't be so bad if it weren't accompanied by slight nausea, headache, and somehow, a scratched cornea. Not to mention the residual ill effects of last night's epic dream in which Bob cut someone's throat for $50,000. (It's ok, everyone in the dream was prescient and knew he was a drifter who intended to kill us all first anyway. Difficult to explain to the police officer, however.) Preceded by a dream in which I was a conscripted ranch hand on a west TX ranch, yeehaw.

It's either something I ate, an incipient virus, or a nervous system on the blink. Perhaps all three. Thank heavens for mint tea.

The ice and snow are beginning to recede, unfortunately. It was nice while it lasted.
Not much happening at work, just trying to get my time in.

Saturday had the TX folk over for dinner and cards.

Will someone please answer the damn phone?

My apartment got insanely hot last night due to the irregularity of the heating system...the chocolate on the kitchen table actually melted a bit. Had to open my bedroom window to let in a breeze, but it was so dilapidated that it came apart at the seams, separating the pane from the frame.

Well, that's enough trivia.
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Monday Monday [Jan. 27th, 2003|11:03 am]
Cirrhotic Liver
Ha, another day of scarce productivity. GWB's state of the union address tonight, I'm worried about what that fool is going to say. My work of searching for terrorist preparedness courses this morning may not be so irrelevant after all. Sigh.

On the plus side, I got into an intensive spanish language course at NCSU today, even though I've already missed the first two weeks of the semester. My first test will also be my second day of class. Whee! Maybe I can fake it, but who cares. It will be something challenging...and Spanish is useful, unlike some bastardized slavic mutation that no one outside a small and insignificant provincial nation of central europe speaks. :)
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